28 wks 2 days...looking back at 23 weeks

I mentioned earlier that we were readmitted to the hospital during the 23rd week. Here is that story.

We had been going to the clinic every week to check that my cervix was staying closed. For the first few weeks after the stitches were put in, my cervix was measuring about 3.5 cm closed. The stitches are at about 1 cm, so it was very good that I was closed beyond the stitches.

This image is a good example of the what I'm talking about when I mention the length of the cervix.

When we got to the clinic I was planning on telling Dr. S. about how I had been having back pain for the past day. It felt like when I had kidney stones and since I had been just lying in bed for a month, I thought that seemed like a possibility. Another possibility was that my back muscles tightened from being stagnant.

While we were having the ultrasound, I watched the measurements and noticed that my cervix was shorter than before, about 2.5 cm. then I had a sharp back pain. My back must be uncomfortable from the table, I thought. Suddenly we watched as my amniotic fluid bulged down through my cervix all the way down to the stitches, like a balloon filling up. I knew this was not good, but really didn't have any idea what was happening. Dr. S. came in the room, looked through the pictures and explained that I was contracting and we caught one on ultrasound. He moved us to an exam room to do a vaginal cervical check to see how things were externally. Luckily, things on the outside were still good and stable. Dr. S. said it was time to make the decision if and when we would rescue the baby if he is born. He left us alone for a couple of minutes, but we had already discussed this and quickly concurred that 23 1/2 weeks (where we were) was when we would give him a chance to fight. He had been measuring 5-7 days ahead of our dates the whole pregnancy, so he was in a better position than most 23 1/2 weekers.

This however, is the tricky part as a NICU nurse. I always thought I would not do anything until 24 weeks. Statistically, 23 weekers have a looong road. Lucky families take their beautiful babies home, but even they have 3-4 months AT LEAST of NICU care, and often fight infections, bleeding in the brain, surgeries, organ damage from IV nutrition, and countless other battles. Most 23 week preemies fight a hard battle and then don't make it to see two weeks of life. Why would I subject this sweet baby to such a road, when his chance of even surviving is very low?

Because I'm his Mom.

Baby Moore at 22 wks 4 days

I guess that's what it comes down to. I will forever be more compassionate to parents dealing with micro-preemies after this road we've traveled. We are so thankful that we have personally gotten past the micro-preemie stage in-utero, but I now have a better understanding of the love that drives parents to save babies who have such a small chance of surviving.

But I digress...Dr. S. admitted us to the antepartum unit for the second time. They monitored me for contractions and gave me another round of Indomethacin to relax my uterus. 30 minutes after my loading (first) dose, I had my last back pain. This indicates that the medicine worked. I also got two shots of a steroid called Betamethazone, which helps to develop baby's lungs if he would be born in the next two weeks. The shot in my butt was really thick and after a couple of minutes it burned down my leg. I've never complained about shots in general, but this one is definitely worse than Tetanus!

The hospital stay seemed a lot easier than the first. We had a routine, and thanks to the glorious night nurse, Sean had a cot to sleep on. I think both Sean and I were at peace with the fact that we were doing absolutely everything we could, and if he would be born now, it was out of our hands. We had a lot of visitors again, but after a particularly busy afternoon of a continuous stream of visitors I started to have cramping and pressure that warranted monitoring that showed uterine irritation and a visit/exam from the Resident. At that point we realized we need to reduce stimulation and limit visits.

Sean and I struggled with that (and still do) because although we know our friends want to visit to help, we feel bad saying no and instead end up feeling overwhelmed by helpers and visitors. Don't get me wrong, we truly appreciate everyone that has visited, called, texted and brought us so many delicious meals, pretty flowers and fun activities! It is a strange and lucky problem to have...too much LOVE :) Please do not be offended if at some point we ask you not to come, we are trying to do our best for the baby's physical health and our mental health.

A highlight of our hospital stay was reaching the glorious milestone of 24 weeks. In the NICU, when a baby reaches a milestone (such as weighing 3 pounds, reaching their due date or taking their first breaths without a ventilator) we make a crafty sign for the family. My buddies on the night shift made us a milestone card that my nurse brought in to me with my morning meds. Pregnancy hormones or not...that support made me tear up. I love my coworkers :)