35 wks 2 days- The Labor of Canoeing

As we close the gap on our due date, the reality of delivering an actual term baby is setting in. One thing that scares me is the uncertainty. If I was preparing for a scheduled surgery or school exam, I would have a date to prepare for. However, I could go into labor today...or in five weeks. This has been the case for the past 15 weeks, but before the baby was small and my fear for his safety overshadowed my fear for my own comfort and safety.

Of course I also have a daunting fear of the pain. Over the past couple of weeks I have been woken in the middle of the night from a braxton hicks contraction and often wonder if that time it is the beginning of labor. The contraction subsides, but I am left awake and concerned about my capability to deal with what is to come. At least I am a relatively tough and extremely stubborn person. A prime example of this goes back to when I was a small child. Due to stellar genetics and a love of Coke I had a lot of cavities filled and I ALWAYS refused lidocaine, no matter what the Dentist or my parents said to try to change my mind. I felt that it was my fault I had a cavity, so I could deal with the pain of the drill...when I was in grade school.

As I got older, I grew into a wilderness tripper, which for the non-tripper could seem like a self-induced hell at times as well. Conversely, for the trippers among us, it is heaven. I love everything about tripping, the beauty, the adventures and the glory that comes at the end of the struggles. Sometimes that glory takes days or weeks to achieve, but it is always worth it. Whitewater paddling is an aspect of canoe tripping that scares me still, but in the beginning I was cripplingly scared of it as I was still learning the ways of the river, the power of the water and the devastating consequences of the slightest mistake.

One sunny, spring morning many years ago I sat in a canoe at the mouth of a river with my friend Rick who is an incredibly talented and technical paddler. I told him of my fears of the river. My friends in surrounding canoes looked purely excited to get on the water while I was unable to enjoy the day until I had successfully paddled the next set of rapids. I knew the lines we should paddle and the strokes I should make, but I was still so scared. He looked at me calmly and said something to the effect of, "Mali, no matter how long you have paddled, you should always have a healthy fear of the river. It is powerful and dangerous. When you are not scared anymore, that is when I would be worried. Your fear will always make you a better paddler, as you will be prepared for both the expected and unexpected to happen." I now paddle with all different partners, including Sean. We have dropped in our canoe over the dam at the whitewater course in Wausau and though I still feel the adrenaline, my fear is healthy and exciting, not crippling. I have evolved and grown, but I will never forget Rick's wise words and they echo in my mind as I fear both the known and unknown aspects of labor, delivery and parenthood.

This is at the "Paddle and Portage," crossing the isthmus in Madison. The capital is behind me.

Lucy portaging 

Portaging is one of the most physically challenging aspects of canoe tripping. That is when you carry your boat and all of your supplies over land from one body of water to another. Sometimes this is a short and well worn path, other times you must create your own path through trees, brush and dense forests and bogs. They can last for miles and even days before you reach water again. My friend Whitney wrote me a visualization she used through her birth experience comparing labor with portaging. It is beautifully worded and makes me feel empowered and more prepared for labor. All of you fellow trippers will be able to relate! She wrote:

"It's like a long portage. You have an 80 pound canoe on your head. There is a mosquito on your shoulder, right in that spot where you can't reach it. You can see it filling up with blood and can't do anything about it. 

You keep walking. 

You need a rest and look for a 'Y' in a tree branch and all you can see are the straightest telephone pole-like trees you have ever seen, so you keep walking. It starts to rain so more mosquitoes are joining you under the canoe to take cover. 

You keep walking.

Then you see it. That blue peeking through the trees. You can smell the water. You know if you walk just a little more, you will be able to toss that canoe off your shoulders and dive into the cold, mosquito-free water. The sweat and mud will be washed away and you might even get a piece of candy."

Thank you Whitney for that visualization. I don't know what labor will be like for me. I don't know how I will act nor how bitchy or demanding I will be. Will I cry? Vomit? Scream? Poop? (Yes, I guess we all know I will poop) But I do know that I can handle adversity and I have to enter into this next challenge with that knowledge in my back pocket. I am lucky for that.

35 wks

Its been a while since I've posted. The good news is that it has been pretty uneventful baby-wise, but I've also been busy doing things NOT in bed this week!

In family news, my brother has temporarily moved to Oklahoma City for seven weeks to train for his air traffic control job. The training sounds intense, but he was made for this job, so I'm sure he'll do great. Also, my sister-in-law (or sis-il as my family calls it) Clare had Match Day to find out where her Med School residency will be. She got her first choice of UW-Madison, so we couldn't be more excited! I'm happy she got what she wanted, but selfishly, I'm especially happy to have her and Matt around for at least the next three years.

Here is a recent pic of Sam flying in Duluth

Last week I washed and put away all of the baby things and (mostly) packed my bag for the hospital. I had been putting little things away and organizing a little bit every day just for fun, but it felt so good to get things settled because we actually need to! I picked out my outfits to take to the hospital for Baby Moore to come home in and this week I am going to knit him a matching hat. Sean even installed the carseat. From the beginning of this crazy journey, I said that if we can make it to 35 weeks, we may even be able to take him home with us...it blows my mind that we have reached that goal today.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and saw Dr. D. I got the normal test done to check if I have Group B Strep. If it comes back positive, it is fine for me, but I would go on antibiotics to prevent the baby from acquiring the infection during birth. Then she checked my cervix and said Baby Moore's head is VERY low at this point. Actually, she said, "If you feel like there is a bowling ball in your pelvis, its because there is!" She said it is okay and actually will give me a leg up on labor. I am only a fingertip dilated and the stitches are still doing their job. She said it is good to be moving around more at this point so I can get some muscle tone back before the delivery.

Sean and I have been going for 20-30 minute walks every day and I can feel the difference in my muscles already. Even walking up the stairs has become a lot easier. I am still taking it very easy and hoping to stay pregnant for a few more weeks. So Couch Command Central is staying intact for now...and naps will still be had :)

This is an old picture, but shows how much I'm bustin' at the seams!

33 wks 4 days- Perfect day

Yesterday was an amazing day! To start things off, I finally am feeling good after a nasty cold I've been fighting for the past week. I have just now started to sleep in as I can get my own breakfast when I go downstairs. I used to get up with Sean so he could get me all settled for the day. So today I slept in and woke up feeling great, then I got ready for my shower that my coworkers threw me.

Alicia and her hilarious brood picked me up and took me to Ashley's house for the shower. It was soooo nice to see everyone. We missed a bunch of people, but alas- SOMEONE has be taking care of those babies at work! The shower had a cute whale theme and Ashley's VERY talented pastry chef sister (www.lindsanitydesserts.com) made the cake.

The DELICIOUS "bathtub" punch (which I drank way too much of!)

Unfortunately I forgot to get a picture with the hostesses with the mostestes, but Lisa and Ashley were the talented ones who put this together. Lisa is sitting on the left with her son Elliott. Ashley is right behind me in the group pic below.

This is most of the group. (Katie had to go to work and Alicia had to pick up her daughter) 

Good lookin' bunch :)

Brandi came after work and Alicia is holding Lisa's other son Ethan. 

You can see a lot of people wore their "Team Moore" t-shirts which was pretty awesome to see! This little man (and his lucky parents) have so many awesome supporters.

I was completely spoiled by everyone and got a lot of great/adorable/generous gifts

Bryna is staring at herself in the mirror and she kept saying, "I see Mama!" Hilarious. 

It was so much fun. Thank you to everyone who participated in my perfect shower day either by being there in person or in spirit!

Amazingly, the fun didn't stop there. Sean picked me up from the shower and had an idea to have a fire in our chiminea that Sean's brother gave me for Christmas. It was perfect, we just set up camp on the deck next to the fire and stayed out there until after 9:00, just talking and reminiscing about other campfires we've had. We can't wait to camp this summer and although we are passing up our annual long canoe trip, we are still hoping to do a lot of short trips and car camping.

PERFECT DAY.

33 wks 1 day

Yes, we are all upset that Juan-Pablo went the scumbag route on the Bachelor (although who really liked him to begin with?) In spite of that disappointing finale (If you missed it, the winning girl said "I love you" and JP replied, "Thank you. I like you a lot..." He also mentioned having an engagement ring in his pocket, but he didn't want to use it. To cap it off, at the "After the Rose" live episode, which is 4 MONTHS after the finale, JP has yet to say he loves her. DUMP HIM, you are being a weakling Nikki!

He was so "generous" giving her a rose...awkward!

Okay, no hard feelings, hardy har har.

Anyways, despite Juan-Pablo's ineptitude, we had an AMAZING day here at the Moore house. I had my doctor's appointment with Dr. S and everything is coming along as expected (or better). He didn't check my cervix again so its been a full month since I've had an ultrasound or cervical check...I'm like a normal pregnant woman! All of the aches and pains I described are normal for someone eight months pregnant with a cerclage. We heard the sweet, strong beat of Baby Moore's heart and my stomach is measuring right on par.

It got really exciting when we started discussing the next few weeks. The rundown is that this week I am still on bed rest, but at 34 weeks (this MONDAY!!!) I can start to move a little more...even...a 20 minute walk OUTSIDE! This is especially exciting news on a day that is sunny with temperatures in the 50's, spring is coming!

THEN, at 35 weeks, I can relax even more. I wanted specifics so I asked, "Can I drive?" Dr. said "yes." I said, "Um...so can I go shopping?" and Dr S. said "Yes," then looked at Sean and asked, "Should I not have said that? She has a lot of shopping time to make up for..." Ha ha. So if I don't go into labor before then, I will have 15 weeks of bed rest and then I can start nesting!

BUT WAIT...it gets better. He will remove my cerclage stitches at 9:00 am on April 2nd (36 weeks 2 days). We HAVE the appointment scheduled!!! I have heard other Incompetent Cervix ladies call it the "Ditch the Stitch" event. It is such an amazing milestone to reach. Just having the stitches removed doesn't mean I will deliver the baby, I will still go into labor like any other pregnant woman. We remove the stitch at that point in hopes that it is before I naturally go into labor to avoid any further damage to my cervix from tearing of the stitches. A study from 18 months ago showed that only about 15% of women went into labor within 48 hours of the stitches being removed.

Even if we don't make it to that great milestone, we are so excited to have made it this far. Dr. S mentioned that if we told him we'd make it to 33 weeks on the day he put the stitches in, he wouldn't have believed it.

Lucy pic of the day. 

She is spooning her favorite toy polar bear. She is going to be such a great "big sister!"

32 wks 3 days- Shower #2

Last Saturday we had our shower with friends. It was such a relief to be almost 32 weeks and I was able to walk around the house during the shower a bit. I didn't have any trouble at all and just laid really low that night and the next day. The shower was hosted by Mary Roe and Barbara Ekern at Mary's house. Sean dropped me off and then went to play bar games with Dave, Mac and Peter. The boys came back to the Roe's house after the shower and we had a pizza party with the boys and kids.

Mustache Mimosas

It was decorated adorably!

I LOVE SHEETCAKE!!! I didn't get any pics, but Barbara made her famous Cake Balls too!

Sarah and Sheila

Sarah, Tracy, Caitlin (and Brooke and Jo in the back)

Sarah and Nolan (6 wks old) Nolan was so good and everyone LOVED holding him whenever Sarah needed a break! 

Sean even held Nolan. He's getting more comfortable every time he holds a baby...but soon he'll be a pro!

The "Stud Muffin" Odin

The 3 pregnant women. Barbara is due with her first baby in the end of June and Pam is due with her 2nd baby in mid-April. We may have little twins!

These are 5 of 8 women from my "polar bear" canoe trip. The trip was almost 11 years ago, but we are all really close still, (and always will be!) We missed you Amy, Kate and Maria! Wow, do I look pregnant in this picture. Black may be slimming, but black mustaches are not! (Or maybe its just me) The little girl is Mary's daughter Kenzie. She is so excited to babysit, she told me she wants the baby out now!

The shower was so much fun and I loved how many people made it from out of town, it was fantastic to see and visit with everyone. Thanks to everyone who helped prepare for and celebrate with us at such a fun party!

32 wks- Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit

I wanted to post this on March 1st, but had an exciting weekend. In my family we have a tradition of saying "rabbit rabbit rabbit" to each other on the first day of every month. It has become a competition to see who can say it first and a good luck charm to be the first to say it. I didn't win this month, but I did make it to 32 weeks today, so I must be lucky! I reflected on March 1st that I have been through 3 "rabbit rabbit rabbits" since my bed rest started and hopefully will have one more, but we are just getting so close to the end.



Last week I had an evening/overnight that was a little scary. I had back pains and shooting pains at the site of my stitches. It is normal to have pain at the stitches at this point because the baby and my uterus are getting bigger and that causes the stitches to shift and stretch. Wednesday the pains were much more frequent and much more severe, sometimes taking my breath away for a second. My back pain could have been from lying on the couch for 11 weeks, but it felt the same as the back contractions I had at 23 weeks, so I was nervous. I tried to go to bed and see if the relaxation would make these pains go away, but I was woken by the pains multiple times throughout the night. I called the doctor's office as soon as they opened in the morning even though the pains seemed to have subsided a bit and my back pain was gone. As the hours of the day passed on, the pains subsided back to normal and the doctor said I just need to head in to be assessed if they come back. Luckily, it's been almost a week without any recurrences at this point. Maybe baby was going through a growth spurt.

You can see the "growth spurt" exhibited in my girth here. 

This is a sneak peak from our awesome mustache-themed baby shower on Saturday.

Being at 32 weeks means we are beyond a lot of the scariest risk factors of prematurity, so it is with a HUGE sigh of relief that Sean and I woke this morning. My stitches will be removed at 36 weeks (unless baby has a different plan) and we will still hopefully stay pregnant for a week or two or THREE after that. I hear the NICU is very busy, so I will do my coworkers a favor and stay out of there!