Sean and Mali

Sean and Mali

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

39 weeks- James' Birth

Some women hate being pregnant. They complain about all of the aches and pains, losing their fit and trim bodies to an uncontrollable weight gain.  I did have a logistically difficult pregnancy, but other than my incompetent cervix and contractions at 23 weeks, I really enjoyed being pregnant. However, I was incredibly scared of the labor and delivery aspect of pregnancy. Really scared.
It turned out though, that I actually loved the experience.

39 weeks, getting ready to go to the hospital!

We were supposed to be induced at 7:30 pm on Monday night. It was the only open slot early in the week, so Dr. S. warned us we would probably deliver in the middle of the night. We both were concerned about the inevitable long night we would have, but happy to have the doctor that would be on call that day. She had taken care of us when we were admitted to the antepartum unit at 23 weeks and Dr. S. had great things to say about her. Our plans quickly changed when the charge nurse from Labor and Delivery called Monday morning to ask if we wanted to come in early. They had delivered all of the babies the night before and had free time already. We decided on noon and spent the rest of the morning nervously packing and trying to mentally prepare for the life changing day we were beginning.

We arrived a little late (typical) and by then the unit was busy so it took another hour or two before we were assessed by the OB, who checked my cervix and broke my water. I was at 4 ½ cm already, so she thought I might go into labor with just my water breaking. A little info on that… She uses a crochet-hook-looking stick. I thought it would hurt, and I thought she would have to use a speculum (we've already established how much THOSE hurt during pregnancy). I was pleasantly surprised that there were no speculums used at all, and I didn't even realize that she had broken my water until she was putting the hook away. I was also surprised how much fluid comes out. As I was talking to Dr. B, I felt a big gush and she said, yeah that will keep happening until the baby delivers. My awesome nurse Uno armed me with massive pads and Sean and I walked to the NICU to visit. After telling them I was at 4 ½ cm, Jane ordered me back to L & D. She apparently didn’t want to deliver a baby in the unit. J We walked around on and off for a couple of hours with no progress so Pitocin was started in an IV.

Before the contractions got cooking, we had a couple of visitors. First our friend Laura stopped by. She is going to be an OB/GYN, so it was especially fun to have her there and get her take on things. Good ol’ Dr. S. came in after his clinic hours to see us too. I was still waffling about the decision on using an epidural. Laura’s advice- “We have safe, modern medicine, why wouldn’t you use it?” Dr. S.’s advice; “I’m not going to give you my opinion…okay; I actually will…I made my wife get an epidural. I didn’t want to watch her go through so much pain that could be avoided.” You all know the respect Sean and I have for Dr. S…so I of course decided on the epidural after all.

After our visitors, my Pitocin dose was increased and we walked more laps around the unit. I knew we were making progress when I had to stop walking to breathe through a contraction twice in one lap. I told my nurse my decision to get the epidural and she told me we would put it in closer to 8 cm dilated. A couple of C-Sections were happening when it was time to get the epidural, so I was REALLY ready for it by the time the anesthesiologist came. Sean and my new nurse, Brittany, kept asking me if I’d be more comfortable in different positions but during the contractions I just couldn’t think about moving at all. A statement that best describes my feelings is one my brother-in-law says when he's hungover, “Everybody stop doing… everything.” The anesthesiologist showed up and did an amazing job putting in the epidural. He gave a bolus of some glorious medicine directly into the epidural layer so that I felt relief right away, instead of having to wait 10-20 minutes for the meds to kick in…and I told him he was my new best friend. We tried to relax and “labor down” after the epidural was in. A few hours of rest almost completed my dilation. I had just a lip of cervix left but I was getting really uncomfortable with back pain and a lot of vaginal pressure. Again, Dr. B was doing a C-Section so she was hoping I could hold off pushing for another hour. My “new best friend” came in and gave me a big bolus of medicine in my epidural. It worked and relieved both the pressure and back pain. Originally, I was able to move my legs and scoot around in bed, but after that bolus my legs were done for. 

At 12:30 am Brittany gave me the go ahead to push. She told me that I would push with just the nurse until I was crowning, then the OB and Trisha, the resident, would come to assist. I think Trisha liked us and she kind of hung out in our room while I was pushing anyways. At one point she told us she had delivered 99 babies so far, so the next one makes lucky 100 (I added the lucky part). Another mom down the hall was also close to delivering, so it became a race. Since I am a first time mom, everyone thought I would take longer, but Brittany said she thought I was spunky, so I would probably beat the other mom. She was right on both counts! 

Pushing was awesome.

I have heard other women say that they enjoy the pushing part of labor because they finally are actively doing something, not just enduring the pain. My enjoyment of the pushing goes even deeper. Bed rest kept me from moving around for five months. I hadn’t felt physically exhausted in so long. For the first few pushes I kept putting my energy into the top half of my body, but then I got into the groove when Brittany reminded me to pretend I was pooping.  It’s a gross comparison, but let’s be honest; nothing about birthing babies is glamorous! I couldn’t hold my legs up after the recent epidural bolus so Sean held one leg and Brittany held the other. I began pushing with all my might and between contractions I was physically beat. My diaphragm burned. I was thirsty. It felt AMAZING! I commented with winded breath that this was my first workout in nearly six months.

When the top of the baby’s head first cracked into the world, Trisha proclaimed, “He’s got A LOT of black hair!” Sean looked at me with encouragement and said, “You got what you asked for!” Sean was blonde as a baby, and the ultrasound pictures show a Sean look-a-like, so I was really hoping the baby would at least have my coloring. Once I was consistently crowning, Brittany offered to put the mirror up for me to watch. I politely said, “No, thank you.” I don’t need to watch my disgusting vagina stretch out…but they convinced me to try it, and I am so glad they did. When I tore (a 2nd degree tear) I saw the blood, but it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Enough other things were going on that I didn’t care. About 1 ½ hours after I started pushing, they told me to switch to short panting pushes and Brittany broadcast to the other nurses that she needed a baby nurse for delivery. I knew that we were close to done and was surprised at the progress.  

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the intense feelings that washed over me when that body finally slipped out through a final gush of fluid and blood into Trisha’s hands at 1:57 am. I suppose that was probably when Sean cut the cord, but I don’t remember. She placed my slimy, little, blue son on my chest and the journey this little boy has taken us on flashed before my eyes.


I can’t believe how lucky we are to have a large and healthy baby boy. Four months of bed rest, two scary hospital stays and one emergency surgery were a blur. It instantly became worth every tear shed, every worried moment, every frustrated day. I was finally holding our son, and he is the most beautiful and perfect newborn I have ever laid eyes on.

Our first family photo

A nurse told me to let her know when I was ready for her to take him for his checks. I told her she is going to have to just take him because I will never be ready to let him go. James “Jay” Vere Moore measured in at 8 lb 4 oz and 20 inches. The newborn hat didn’t even fit on his big head, over that gorgeous black, curly hair.



After I was safely recovered from the birth and given food and lots of water, Brittany put me in a wheelchair and we trekked to our new room in Family Care Suites. I requested that we make a quick pit stop first. We wheeled into the NICU for just a visit, to show off our son to my friends and coworkers. This is the amount of time I hoped Jay would spend in the NICU. What could have been five months was merely a joyous five minutes. 

Thank you for following and supporting us on this momentous journey through our pregnancy. We couldn’t have done it so successfully without all of the love, prayers and help that we received. It truly cannot be put into words how much it has meant to us to receive every call, email, text, Facebook comment and prayer.

I will continue to blog in a NEW blog site about our family and would love to have you keep reading. The new blog can be found at www.mooregrapevine.blogspot.com

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

38 wks 1 day

Still pregnant!  Last night I had some action. Although Baby Moore has been riding low for a while, last night I think he further dropped into my pelvis...causing a lot of pain. I had some contractions, and for a little bit I thought we were going to be going to the hospital, but the contractions subsided and we were able to go to bed. It was an uncomfortable night of sleep, but still not in labor! When I came downstairs this morning Sean so kindly looked at me and said, "You look more pregnant than ever today." Which I admit is much better than, "WOW, you look so tired, swollen and fat!"

I have been waking up every day and discussing with Sean if I think the baby will be born that day. Today I really think it could be possible. (Or he might need a couple more weeks, haha) I get a daily email of a Brian Andreas quote and today's was:


I think that is a good sign :) We will see what happens, and if nothing else, I have my next appointment with Dr. S. tomorrow. I am curious if there are any differences from last week!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

37 wks 2 days

Things are stable, low risk and NORMAL for us now. Every day is a little more cooking and growing still, but Baby Moore is TERM! Who would've thought that I would be driving myself to my doctor's appointment in which I am treated like a normal, very pregnant woman.

This week was busy. I am definitely getting back into shape. Don't get me wrong, there is no running, weightlifting or burpees being done, but I can go up the stairs and grocery shopping now. Speaking of grocery shopping... I had an awesome (note the sarcasm) experience while shopping with Sean. Last weekend we were very busy and I overdid it. I was exhausted by the time we were waiting to check out at Copps. Bonus- Game of Thrones was on the cover of a magazine, so I grabbed that sucker and leaned on a Pringles display to gaze at Jon Snow and rest my weary butt...Only to tip the display over and knock all of the Pringles cans on the floor. I am not sure who was more embarrassed, Sean or I. At least it is obvious I am pregnant so Sean said I get a free pass.

So I had my appointment with Dr. S. today and it went well. I went from 3 to 3 1/2 cm dilated. He also said that Baby's head is "a lot lower" than it was last week. We could go into labor today, tomorrow or in a couple of weeks.

Sean's entire family is leaving for Japan on Saturday so it would be nice if the baby would come in time for them to see the baby before they leave...but we will see! His mom and brother Greg will be back in the states in just 10 days, but Matt and Clare won't be back for a month (lucky!). In the meantime I am trying to just really bask in my pregnancy and enjoy the freedom I still have. Being in public finally has been fun. I have the luxury of actually liking to have strangers comment on my belly and ask me if its a boy or girl...the stereotypical stuff that I didn't know/believe really happened until now.

It was my Dear Ol' Dad's Birthday yesterday. This is me, my Dad and his Dad...the genes are strong! 
Happy Birthday Dad!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

36 wks 2 days- Warning- (bloody procedure details below)

The stitches are out! During the procedure Dr. S. said, "oh you are bleeding a little bit"...but by the end, the room looked like a war zone! The stitches prevent bleeding and with them out, the blood came! A dropped utensil made things worse too. I even stained his white coat...oops. Taking the stitches out didn't hurt too much, but the manipulation was pretty uncomfortable. I would say it is comparable to a pap smear, but worse. It made me realize that I think I will probably be interested in an epidural :) As soon as Dr. S. started digging around, the baby began moving like crazy! I can only imagine what he was thinking. It was like we were knocking on his door!

After the 2nd stitch came out, Dr. S. proclaimed, "You are officially a low-risk pregnancy now!" He even said we can go back to our original OB, but we decided to just finish with Dr. S. It will only be a few appointments, at best. As for the stitches, the thread just looked like dental floss...very magical dental floss that saved our baby's life!

I am dilated to 3 cm at this point, but not having any more contractions than I had been having, so I think I just might be able to keep this little guy in for a little while longer!

Sean and I went to Madison Sourdough for celebratory breakfast and now I am back on the couch, sore but pregnant :)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

36 wks 1 day- Ditch the Stitch/Team Moore

Tomorrow is a day we thought would not happen. I am "Ditching the Stitch," as I like to call it. We really did not think we'd stay pregnant long enough for a planned removal. (Nor did our doctor!) In celebration, I baked chocolate chip cookies for the staff at the clinic. Its a small thing, but being a nurse myself, I understand the appreciation for all forms of sugar. I thought it would be fun to make cookies that matched the "stitch" theme, but decided any form of vagina cookies would be gross :) The staff has been so wonderful to us throughout this whole process. While having a good relationship with a high-risk Perinatology Clinic is not something anyone wants to have, it is good to have when you need it!

A recent study showed that only 11% of women went into labor within 48 hours of the stitch removal. http://www.synergymedical.org/acog/2010/19560112.pdf It seems like having a rescue cerclage (like I did) makes me more likely to be in the 11%. I have been feeling a lot of movement very low and sense this little man is getting ready to come soon. Sean has an exam at 5:45 tomorrow night, so hopefully we can hold off labor at least until he gets home from his exam! It is ENTIRELY possible that I will stay pregnant for weeks more, or have him tomorrow. We will just have to see what our little man has planned.


We have been thinking a lot lately of the journey we have been on, and realize that we owe so much to our amazing support system. One such example is "Team Moore." My coworkers made t-shirts to show their support and we were able to get shirts for our families too. I have absolutely LOVED every time pictures were posted on facebook, emailed or texted to me. Many happy tears followed those pictures! Here are some examples:
Coworkers in the NICU

Sean's brother Greg sent his support from Paris!

My brother Sam wore his shirt to work too!

More coworkers

Lots of Team Moore peeps at my shower!

Sean's Mom wearing her support!

I will let you all know how things go tomorrow. Either way, thanks for reading and sending us your support over the past 4 months. One way or another, we will be introducing our little man very soon!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

35 wks 2 days- The Labor of Canoeing

As we close the gap on our due date, the reality of delivering an actual term baby is setting in. One thing that scares me is the uncertainty. If I was preparing for a scheduled surgery or school exam, I would have a date to prepare for. However, I could go into labor today...or in five weeks. This has been the case for the past 15 weeks, but before the baby was small and my fear for his safety overshadowed my fear for my own comfort and safety.

Of course I also have a daunting fear of the pain. Over the past couple of weeks I have been woken in the middle of the night from a braxton hicks contraction and often wonder if that time it is the beginning of labor. The contraction subsides, but I am left awake and concerned about my capability to deal with what is to come. At least I am a relatively tough and extremely stubborn person. A prime example of this goes back to when I was a small child. Due to stellar genetics and a love of Coke I had a lot of cavities filled and I ALWAYS refused lidocaine, no matter what the Dentist or my parents said to try to change my mind. I felt that it was my fault I had a cavity, so I could deal with the pain of the drill...when I was in grade school.


As I got older, I grew into a wilderness tripper, which for the non-tripper could seem like a self-induced hell at times as well. Conversely, for the trippers among us, it is heaven. I love everything about tripping, the beauty, the adventures and the glory that comes at the end of the struggles. Sometimes that glory takes days or weeks to achieve, but it is always worth it. Whitewater paddling is an aspect of canoe tripping that scares me still, but in the beginning I was cripplingly scared of it as I was still learning the ways of the river, the power of the water and the devastating consequences of the slightest mistake.

One sunny, spring morning many years ago I sat in a canoe at the mouth of a river with my friend Rick who is an incredibly talented and technical paddler. I told him of my fears of the river. My friends in surrounding canoes looked purely excited to get on the water while I was unable to enjoy the day until I had successfully paddled the next set of rapids. I knew the lines we should paddle and the strokes I should make, but I was still so scared. He looked at me calmly and said something to the effect of, "Mali, no matter how long you have paddled, you should always have a healthy fear of the river. It is powerful and dangerous. When you are not scared anymore, that is when I would be worried. Your fear will always make you a better paddler, as you will be prepared for both the expected and unexpected to happen." I now paddle with all different partners, including Sean. We have dropped in our canoe over the dam at the whitewater course in Wausau and though I still feel the adrenaline, my fear is healthy and exciting, not crippling. I have evolved and grown, but I will never forget Rick's wise words and they echo in my mind as I fear both the known and unknown aspects of labor, delivery and parenthood.

This is at the "Paddle and Portage," crossing the isthmus in Madison. The capital is behind me.

Lucy portaging 


Portaging is one of the most physically challenging aspects of canoe tripping. That is when you carry your boat and all of your supplies over land from one body of water to another. Sometimes this is a short and well worn path, other times you must create your own path through trees, brush and dense forests and bogs. They can last for miles and even days before you reach water again. My friend Whitney wrote me a visualization she used through her birth experience comparing labor with portaging. It is beautifully worded and makes me feel empowered and more prepared for labor. All of you fellow trippers will be able to relate! She wrote:

"It's like a long portage. You have an 80 pound canoe on your head. There is a mosquito on your shoulder, right in that spot where you can't reach it. You can see it filling up with blood and can't do anything about it. 


You keep walking. 

You need a rest and look for a 'Y' in a tree branch and all you can see are the straightest telephone pole-like trees you have ever seen, so you keep walking. It starts to rain so more mosquitoes are joining you under the canoe to take cover. 


You keep walking.

Then you see it. That blue peeking through the trees. You can smell the water. You know if you walk just a little more, you will be able to toss that canoe off your shoulders and dive into the cold, mosquito-free water. The sweat and mud will be washed away and you might even get a piece of candy."



Thank you Whitney for that visualization. I don't know what labor will be like for me. I don't know how I will act nor how bitchy or demanding I will be. Will I cry? Vomit? Scream? Poop? (Yes, I guess we all know I will poop) But I do know that I can handle adversity and I have to enter into this next challenge with that knowledge in my back pocket. I am lucky for that.

Monday, March 24, 2014

35 wks

Its been a while since I've posted. The good news is that it has been pretty uneventful baby-wise, but I've also been busy doing things NOT in bed this week!

In family news, my brother has temporarily moved to Oklahoma City for seven weeks to train for his air traffic control job. The training sounds intense, but he was made for this job, so I'm sure he'll do great. Also, my sister-in-law (or sis-il as my family calls it) Clare had Match Day to find out where her Med School residency will be. She got her first choice of UW-Madison, so we couldn't be more excited! I'm happy she got what she wanted, but selfishly, I'm especially happy to have her and Matt around for at least the next three years.
Here is a recent pic of Sam flying in Duluth

Last week I washed and put away all of the baby things and (mostly) packed my bag for the hospital. I had been putting little things away and organizing a little bit every day just for fun, but it felt so good to get things settled because we actually need to! I picked out my outfits to take to the hospital for Baby Moore to come home in and this week I am going to knit him a matching hat. Sean even installed the carseat. From the beginning of this crazy journey, I said that if we can make it to 35 weeks, we may even be able to take him home with us...it blows my mind that we have reached that goal today.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and saw Dr. D. I got the normal test done to check if I have Group B Strep. If it comes back positive, it is fine for me, but I would go on antibiotics to prevent the baby from acquiring the infection during birth. Then she checked my cervix and said Baby Moore's head is VERY low at this point. Actually, she said, "If you feel like there is a bowling ball in your pelvis, its because there is!" She said it is okay and actually will give me a leg up on labor. I am only a fingertip dilated and the stitches are still doing their job. She said it is good to be moving around more at this point so I can get some muscle tone back before the delivery.

Sean and I have been going for 20-30 minute walks every day and I can feel the difference in my muscles already. Even walking up the stairs has become a lot easier. I am still taking it very easy and hoping to stay pregnant for a few more weeks. So Couch Command Central is staying intact for now...and naps will still be had :)
This is an old picture, but shows how much I'm bustin' at the seams!